Most adults have been through at least one bad breakup. But looking in the rear-view mirror we saw that it was possible to let it go and move on. Even though it was tough, we pulled through and came out okay on the other side. But what if you don’t want to let this one go? What if you’re willing to put in a little bit of work, with the possibility of winning your ex back? That’s a smart choice. Because no matter what your friends keep telling you, 90% of all breakups can be reversed. If you follow a few crucial guidelines.
Don’t Panic
The first thing after the breakup is to not panic. You need to will yourself to stay calm, cool, and collected. Before you can do anything to save the relationship, you need to get your feelings and the actions that go with them, under control. If you let your feelings run the show, you’re going to say and do things that can and will, destroy your chances of success. Control is the keyword.
What Happened?
After a few days when you’ve settled down, you need to figure out exactly why the breakup occurred. Was it a single event, like something you did or said? Or is there a bigger issue that has been brewing over time? No matter the reason, you need to figure out the specifics. When you have an idea of why your ex broke up with you, that should give you hope and make you feel a little better because 50% of the job of solving a problem is, first of all, to understand it. Once you’ve understood and defined the problem, you can work on a plan to fix it. But you’re not going to fix this problem right away.
The Magic Cool-Off Period
After you have calmed yourself down and gotten your emotions under control, it’s time to let the dust settle. What you need right now is to come across as in control and mature. The way to accomplish this is to give yourself a cooling period of 30 days. These 30 days will work magic on the situation and your relationship. How? For starters, you won’t be seen as needy, but as someone who is okay and happy on their own. And that’s the magic ingredient in capturing any man or woman.
The rules to follow during this period:
You don’t want to call your ex.
You don’t want to text, email, Facebook, or tweet your ex.
You don’t want to write letters of love and desperation.
You don’t want to sit in your car outside their place or follow them around town to see what they’re up to.
If you run into your ex by accident maybe you have the same workplace be courteous and friendly, but don’t stand around and chat. And do not talk about the relationship. Just smile and let them know you’re busy and walk away. Yes, it is going to be tempting to want to have contact, but remember, we’re trying to win love back permanently here, not give in to our emotions to feel better at the moment. That will undermine your chances of success.
Not only will these 30 days give you both the break you need and help you get some perspective, but more importantly, it will force you to get on top of your emotions and clear your head so you can think straight about the next step.